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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Why is it So Hard?!?!



I've been thinking about this a lot lately...

Miranda and I both have full-time jobs. We work very hard to try and make money to be able to support and raise our sons. We do this without complaint, without question and without thinking about it.

Why is it so hard to make ends meet? We don't blow our money. We only go out to eat on rare occasion now instead of 2-3 times a week like we did before Cooper and Carter were born. We do not rent movies or pay-per-views anymore. Every dime we earn is saved and spent on bills and for necessities for the boys.
It's just not working...






 
 Daycare costs are killing us. It is our largest monthly bill by far.
We're no martyrs. We don't want or expect special treatment.
 
 What I do want is an explanation...
 
 How can our state government justify giving lazy, no good crack addicts money to support their habit in the name of child welfare when hard working parents who have only the best interest of their children at heart??
 
How is this possible? Shouldn't the #1 pre-requisite of assistance be "You must have a job"
Shouldn't the #2 pre-requisite of assistance be "You must pass a drug screen"
 And shouldn't the #3 pre-requisite of assistance be "You must provide proof of employment and pass a drug screen monthly to keep receiving assistance"
 
 Apparently, even with all of our bills, we make too much money to warrant assistance.
 How the hell do we make too much money?
 Shouldn't they take our income and subtract all of our bills before they come to that conclusion?
I mean good grief health insurance costs us $399 a month. And I'm not even covered by it for God's sake!
 Add our mortgage and child care expenses and we're freakin' POOR! LITERALLY!!!
And I've forgotten the way to our grocery stores. Can't tell you the last time we shopped for groceries. 
 
 
 
 
I mean I earn tips from delivering pizzas but that goes towards gas and to buy formula and diapers.
 My actual wages go towards HELPING to pay daycare costs.
 
 I'm just SO fed up with the system! Why not give assistance to hard working families who DESERVE it instead of blindly doling out money to those who spend 90% of it on scratch-off's, alcohol, drugs and/or  God knows what.
 
In case you haven't been able to deduce, this rant was born out of despair.
 My family is my world! My wife and kids deserve better.
 Please take a moment to say a prayer (or to make a quick phone call to your nearest philanthropist) for us.
We're both working so hard and the ends are just not meeting. If you know of any organization that helps hard working families, please let me know.
 
 Thanks for reading. Sorry for the content. After paying the bills tonight I was just in a bad mood - a justified bad mood...
 
 
 
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4 comments:

Bumbling Introvert said...

It is hard to make ends meet when two babies come at one time. Two of everything is stressful to anyone's budget. Research shows that having multiples is highly stressful for people's budgets and marriages. Daycare is extremely expensive; however, when you look at what the people who are taking care of our children are getting paid as compared to businessmen and lawyers, well, it seems like a crime. Things are out of balance today.

I have a graduate degree, my husband has two (he's actually an attorney). Our cars each have over 100k on them, we never go out to eat, we do not buy ourselves new clothes, we are very frugile, yet making ends meet is near impossible for us. WE live in a small home in a "blue collar" section of town. My pay as a psychotherapist/clinical social worker did not pay for 2 (now 3 children in daycare). So I stay home and fret over paying bills, lay awake at night and wonder what to do...and then I try and I know things will someday, get better.

As a social worker with a masters degree, though, I have to say that your blanket condemnation of people who are getting welfare is done out of ignorance and earns you the complete opposite of what you are trying to get -- assistance or kind thoughts.

It's not ok to put others down in order to try to justify what you are seeking, especially when you do it without fact, but instead use stereotypes as your facts.

Many might judge you, "Well, if you weren't going to be able to afford childcare, maybe you shouldn't have gotten pregnant. Maybe you should have looked at all the expenses in a real light first, then fucked without protection second(or do infertility treatement, I don't know how you got your twins)." But that's not really fair, is it?

So whine all you want, but don't put other children's mothers down b/c the day that the moms can't get help is the day that those children are in an even worse spot than they are already in.

Proud Papa of Twins said...

Let me tell you a few things...

1st: My wife and I planned for one child. At the time we were trying, I had a job in my field (Respiratory Therapy) and was about to graduate college in a few months. My wife had, and still has, her career in Dental Hygiene. We weren't trying for two children, we were trying for ONE! With all those factors in place, we were well capable of caring for our child. (And we got our twins the natural way, thank you)

2nd: I NEVER, EVER put down those who get help and deserve it! I simply wondered how drug addicts can get help when hard working people like us cannot!

3rd: I don't need your psychotherapist bullshit! My wife and I are not run-of-the-mill idiots. We're very smart, educated people. I saw right through your insults. You do not know me. You do not know my situation. DO NOT judge me and spew your therapist crap. It's not wanted or needed.

We live in the Meth capital of the US. Most people on welfare around here are drug addicts. Its a well known fact. At the same time, my wife and I, who desperately need help, cannot get assistance because we "make too much money." Which we don't. She still has her job and I'm not working in my field because of cutbacks and have had to get a job delivering pizzas.

So until you know all the facts and until you quit twisting my words, do NOT comment further on my blog.

If you want to message me, fine. Do so, but privately.

Anonymous said...

I am the wife of "Proud Papa" and I do not appreciate your comments at all!!!!! We have NEVER judged anyone for getting assistance but just wondered how it fair for people who cheat the system or don't work at all (and are VERY capable) get help and hard working people like us cannot. I work at least 40 hours a week and my husband does the same, and there is no help out there for us. PLEASE TELL ME HOW THAT IS FAIR!!!

Like my husband already told you, we conceived our boys naturally. We had planned for one child and at the time things were going great. Unless you do not know SITUATIONS CAN CHANGE!!!!!! We had looked at all the cost before we started trying to get pregnant (like responsible people do). And just like you we have learned to be very frugile. I cannot tell you the last time we have spent money on anything except NECESSARY THINGS FOR THE BOYS!!!!! We are very proud and happy to have our boys and would not change the fact that there are two of them for anything in the world, but that does not make making ends meet any easier!!!!

I am very sorry that things are rough for you too, but do not come on here and pass judgment on my husband for posting his thought and feeling!!!! This is his blog and I think you are one of the rudest people. Next time keep your thoughts and bull to your self!!!
Actually, just don't visit this blog again.

Anonymous said...

I make close to six figures a year and my fiancee and I are always broke because the bills are just rediculous. $450 a month just for her health insurance, nevermind mine. Nearly the same expense monthly for car insurance. We have to rent out a room to make the mortgage every month. Close to $100/wk in gas just to run errands and make the 22 mile commute to and from work daily. And like you mentioned, we don't remember the last time we even half-filled a shopping cart at the grocery store. We haven't been out for a movie or dinner in months. We don't vacation. We don't do anything.

Taxes and insurance has us living like we're at the poverty line, and the baby hasn't even come yet!

But what bothered me most was when I was unemployed for a few months last year (for the first time in my life after working my butt off for the last 20 years). All I needed was a little help for a few months and all I got from the state was $122 a month and food stamps. What a joke. I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for my friends and family.

Seems like the harder you work and do right for your family, the bigger the target is on your back...